What can i do ?

This week i was confronted with some disturbing realisations about my role as a member of this planet . The question was asked "what are you doing to make this world a better place" , the sad truth is that i and so many of my generation have done very little . We are isolated islands locked in a bubble of mxit , google talk , facebook etc . When John Donne said "no man is an Island" the concept of unlimited internet access had obviously never been thought of lol .

After a lengthy discussion with crawford brain trust (consisting of my friends and a bong) we came to the conclusion that number one , that we had the munchies and number two , that we as young people use the excuse that our contribution won't mean much so that we can validate not doing anything . The concept of the boy throwing one starfish into the sea at a time still holds true now and any small difference is still a difference . We then decided that we would make it out mission to start throwing our very own starfish into the sea .

If we all started thinking in this manner just think how much more we could get done , wether it be volunteering at your church or reading to the blind , anything helps . I am aware of the cliched nature of this post but fuck it ..... thats one starfish for me .

Relax........ take it eaaaasy

Of late i have been confronted with a lot of emo , i wanna die , what am i living for type behaviour from various people . The trend seems to be growing and i am posting this to do my part to kill it ( the trend that is ).

What am i living for u ask ? LIFE U NIT , LIFE! laying on the beach on a hot summers days , snuggling under the covers on a cold winters day , good friends , good food , good company , great parties , the morning after a great party , the party the following evening , the sexual intercourse u had at those parties , the sexual intercourse u almost had at those parties , the sexual intercourse you didn't have but still told all your friends you had at the party , the birds chirping , old school songs that remind you of your youth , nostalgia , being successful at something , failing and picking yourself back up and trying again , etc etc etc .

We have it all to do , you are wasting time mutha fuckers !!

Be careful not to fall into the trap of taking yourself too seriously , be aware of why you are here . If work is what you do full stop , you have a problem , if money is what u like full stop you have a problem . These things should merely be in aid of facilitating the good times , EVERYONE should be in aid of that . So this is me saying sit back , have a beer and chill the fuck out .

anna hornby : ready for her close up

ladies and gentleman i would like to introduce to you ..... the talented .... the caring ..... the super hot till you drop cant stop make it waaaaaarm anna hornby . I was directed to the acting prowess of young Anna by a good friend of mine who wishes to remain nameless (edo) and upon viewing several of her short films i have come to the conclusion that she is indeed a rare talent .

Anna visited cape town not so long ago and was able to adapt easily to the coloured way of life. In no time she had learnt key words such as naai , vark , poes and the ever popular ma se poes. Her ability to swear and drink copious amounts of alcohol was paraled by her loving and caring nature for the young children which she cared for on a volunteer basis. Indeed it was this caring nature that brought her and the sunshine she has in her smile to our shores.

Anna Hornby seems then to be a bit of a renaissance woman , both academically and socially sound . This balance is about as hard to find as democracy in Zimbabwe . Make no mistake Anna even though u might think this post a form of raiden it is by no means so.

Anna's next adventure lays before her in Australia .... stay tuned for more when Anna's braves the land of the sheep fuckers .

strippers : whats thier buzz

On Saturday i had my first foray into the world of the stripper . My friends and i on a whim decided to visit Mavericks . Now the idea of a girl teasing me and me paying for it is somewhat retarded to me but i went with for the sake of shall we say "curiosity" .

my analogy of why the idea of a strip club is retarded is as follows : Imagine that your at a party and a girl flirts with you the whole night , dances provactively etc . Then as soon as you try to make your move shoots you down . Your reaction would be that of confusion and disgust and the words "what the fuck!? " would no doubt escape your self .

Now only one thing makes strippers worse than that ; THE FACT THAT YOU ACTUALLY PAYING TO BE COCK TEASED .

take head gentleman , strippers are like the women at Avis car hire , they're only being nice to you becuase its their job !

and yet despite this warning , i have no doubt that the likes of Mavericks and Teasers will be full this weekend .... to this i have one word DUMBASS!

Gangsta Rap : what are they really saying ?

Today we will examine the intertextual and metaphoric meaning behind "rap music".

For today's lesson we will look at the line " sipping on gin and juice , laid back ,with my mind on my money and my money on my mind"

This no doubt refers to the plight of the disenfranciased african american male who while enjoying his alchoholic beverage and thinking about his money is exhibiting typical behaviour caused by his socio political situation.

His drinking problem and his financial situation is no doubt as a result of the oppresive nature of the country in the past .

The other theory is that drinking is lekker and money buys more drinks and that he is paaaartying .

the options lay before you , feel free to share your opinion

I'LL HOLLA!!!

Terms & Conditions when eating a Gatsby ... (imperative and must be adhered to)



1. Keep the time between purchase and consumption of the Gatsby as short as possible. Cold chips are no one's friend.

1. Cut the Gatsby into a maximum of four pieces. Anything smaller is a gross injustice to the Gatsby because there's no way you'll be filled by a fifth or less.

2. Any chip falling from any given piece of the Gatsby is considered fair game. The ruling on this is final.

3. When separating the Gatsby, note the point of division: practice absolute precision here to avoid taking the bottom roll of the next person's piece. Ask for assistance if necessary.

4. You must finish your share. Besides it being a terrible waste, you'll be scorned by the Gatsby Fraternity for all time for being vesin.

5. Grip is critical. Cup your piece in your hand so that loose bits have nowhere to fall except back into your hands. Avoid the scenario described in Point 3.

6. NEVER leave the Gatsby unattended.

7. It's best to accompany the Gatsby with a beverage, ie Jive, Frulati or Cabana. Hearty burping guarantees relief.

8. Observe relative silence when consuming the Gatsby. No one likes to talk and eat at the same time. See Point 1 regarding cold chips.

9. Always wash hands with soap and water at the conclusion to avoid getting a spicy finger in the eye, a condition commonly known as Gatsby Eye. The only cure is self-induced crying. No one wants to see that, so
just make the trip and wash your damn hands.

10. The bra that contributes the least towards the gatsby gets the smallest piece...

11. The Gatsby is not supposed to be eaten out of a plate, so make sure you ask the BB.Sc (Bra Behind Shop Counter) to doublewrap the Gatsby to ensure enough paper for everyone.

12. Avoid eye contact with anyone not eating the Gatsby for fear of them asking for a "stukkie" or shouting "kap 'n baat".

13. When sipping on the Frulati, make sure you only have 2 sips then pass... anyone attempting more than 2 sips forfeit the next round.

14. Nothing on the Gatsby is to be wasted (refer point 5), that includes any salads or sauces still remaining in the paper... lick it up!

15. When the Gatsby is finished, it's obligatory to finish the ritual with a cigarette, beware though of anyone asking for "'n skyf"; thus make sure you get some sauce on the filter of the cigarette to avoid having to share your "entjie".

UNITED! UNITED!

Last nights champions league final was without a doubt one of the most exciting games of football i have ever been priviledged to watch . I don't have much else to say but GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED ! GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED !

When it all just seems like too much

After a conversation with edo last night regarding lifes daily grind and the purpose of it all i have reached a few conclusion but alas no answers. Frustration at where our lives are going to has hit us all at one point or another . Along the journey to what u deem is success it is inevitable for your belief to momentarily falter along the way.

personally i feel the cliche "take it one day at a time" is actually quite effective in this case . Taking joy in small things every day can get one through the darkest of times . Every day you should have something to look forward to .

When i'm at work and looking forward to the weekend and then realise all i have to look forward to is bad weekend television it depresses me . The same premise should then be used for every day of your life . Work hard , play hard Edo . Take not that a common trap in this mantra is to fool ones self into thinking that you are working hard , saying you working hard and actually doing it are two different things . The area of introspection then comes into the frey (this issue we will deal with at another juncture as it is too complex for the purpose of this discussion)

balance then seems to be the key not so . This obviously not an answer because the balance is up to you and therefore given to premutaions beyond my calculation. So go forth and party tonight cus its WEEKEND BABY! however monday its back to work pal .

The wisest swedish girl i know

Linda: The Wisest Swedish Girl I Know

Aaaaah Linda with her blonde hair and blue eyes is by far the wisest Swedish girl I know. It has to be said that I only know four Swedish girls but this does not take away from the fact that she is in fact filled with great knowledge.

Linda who came to South Africa on a whim and entered the mean streets of Belgravia with both gusto and bravado. She has eluded many thieves with the clever disguise of her hoodie that covers her golden locks so that she may blend in with the local folk. Indeed when donning this seemingly magic hoodie one could easily mistake her for your average colored girl just buying 50c Chappies bread at the shop.

Linda has a very simple yet efficient diet of All Bran Flakes and alcohol to keep her in tip top physical condition (because you never know when someone’s delinquent brother might try to rob you).

No doubt that when Linda leaves us her wisdom will stay long after she herself has once again felt the firm embrace of her homeland. The tears of those she has left behind will flood the streets of Dolomite road and flow down to the rest of Crawford. Years later when I am old and sitting reminiscing about my youth I will fondly speak of Linda: The wisest girl I know.

Thank you I’ll be here all week and don’t forget to tip your waiters.

Mr Roboto

Has technology killed our social skills ? I was at a club on sat evening and for a short time i observed the behaviour and speech of some of my friends . What i discovered was slightly disconcerting . Many people are no longer comfortable with one on one conversation , rather a group conversation where everyone is talking at the same time or "IM" type interactions seem to be the order of the day .

Answer this , when last have you actually had a proper conversation with someone . Do you know your best friends aspirations , likes , dislikes , etc ?

Reality is scary and i think many young people have found what they see as a good alternative to deal with it . Why do you think drugs are so popular ? The Y generation's most energetic presuit seems to be the one that takes them as far away from reality as possible .

Now can you blame them with all thats going on in the world ?

lets get some feedback here .

What women want

This question has been asked millions of times and yet we are no closer to the answer than the first dude that had the thought which was no doubt the first dude that ever existed. I think its simple to answer though , Them bitches dont know what they want themselves !

Their minds change more than Paris Hilton at an award ceremony and we as men are just supposed to 'KNOW" . If we meant to be together u would just know that sort of thing .

Heres a fact : we dont know , dont care and will generally not notice that u dyed ur hair one shade of red more . LIVE WITH IT AS WE LIVE WITH UR INSANITY!

the return of remo andrews

Tomorrow i will be playing in a rapid play chess tournament . This marks my return after a lets say less than impressive Cape Open in Jan this year . Although i have not been actively studying or playing chess for the past few years my pride dictates that i FUCK EVERYONE UP !

On monday i will reveal wether or not i have been succesfull .

my contribution to the arts

As you can see i have posted on of the drawing i have done . Im unsure of how to create a folder type thing so that you can view them all so im posting one every week for now .

Tell me what u niggaz think

search for bobby fisher

I was speaking to Adil a few nights ago and he told me had watched the search for Bobby fisher . Let me say first and formost that as a chess player that movie fucking ROCKS!!!

I just want to put that out there and say that if anyone is able to get a copy of that flick i want it .

I know the meaning of life ...... im not telling though

LoL! one more addition , the answer can to life can be found in the seeking of those anwers as opposed to the discovery thereof . So by asking these questions we are in fact taking part in the meaning of life which is the search for answers .

Without it surely all we are are empty vessels.( refrain from using but it makes the most noise joke ingrid)

this topic will be replaced by a slightly more retarded question later in the day .

pancakes you say ?

What is the great complexity , ideas such as these can't just be bandied around with sufficient explanation . Also i think its fairly obvious that everyone has a different version of happily ever after . Perhaps the questions are the answers .

thinking about thinking

Today i have been in deep introspection mode . I cant speak for anyone else but i feel that i am uncertain as to what genuine emotions are anymore . Every day we suppress or fake or whatever , emotion . Is being happy that the Proteas smashed the Indians in the Sub Continent a genuine emotion as far as being happy goes. These questions are hard to answer and i have therefore taken today as my day of introspection to sort out the real from the superficial . But before i can do that i have to acertain which is which and this is where the problem lies . Opinions would be valuable as it adds to my field data and i feel i can only make a proper study of this if i have other people's opinions .

Has the modern world we live in where fantasy and splendour are not as respected before spoilt our views ?

in the beggining

in the beggining there was remo and remo in his wisdom created this blog and on this blog he posted random things and invited others to share in the randomness .

hopefully i'll get this shit figured out soon and post some comic pics, some of my own stuff and some stuff from others .